Saturday Night Souse
Dedicated to the Demon Rum and all her acquaintances
I drink, therefore I am
“I spent a lot of my money on booze, women, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.”
—George Best
From the 86 Rules of Boozing:
20. Drink one girly drink in public and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks.
“I told my girlfriend last night how much I loved her, and she said that I must have been out drinking again. I asked her why she would say that, and she said, ‘Because I’m your father.’” – Dave George
This week’s hangover remedy: Aspirin. Ok, so you’re saying “no shit.” But here’s the wisdom – DON’T take an aspirin or ibuprofen before you start drinking; it will make your hangover worse. Your liver won’t be able to process the alcohol as quickly because it will be working on the aspirin.
You Know You’re a Drunk When…
▬Your friends accuse you of “acting weird” whenever they meet you sober.
▬You start your morning by reaching to the night stand, picking up your phone, pressing re-dial, and apologizing to whoever answers.
▬You think the only thing worse than warm flat keg beer on Sunday is no warm flat keg beer on Sunday.
Obligatory Disclaimer: Constitution Club does not advocate irresponsible alcohol consumption. Many of our readers have chosen to abstain from alcohol entirely, and we respect that decision. Even if it does make them all Nancy-boy pussies.
