The Constitution Club

The 4^th of July Edition

“Wine is necessary for life.” — Thomas Jefferson

“My manner of living is plain…a glass of wine and a bit of mutton.” – George Washington

“Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried, with fewer tensions and more tolerance.” – Benjamin Franklin

“The 4^th of July is truly one the best holidays because it truly one of the most booze-soaked, and what’s more American than that?”– DFV the Scribe

Let’s Party Like it’s 1787!! The bill for a celebration party for the 55drafters of the US Constitution was for 54 bottles of Madeira wine, 60 bottles of claret, 8 bottles of whiskey, 22 bottles of port, 8 bottles of hard cider, 12 beers and seven bowls of alcohol punch large enough that “ducks could swim in them.”

Where We Lost Our Way: In America’s first twenty years, we elected to the presidency two brewers and a wine expert. Today we have a teetotaler who drinks a single non-alcoholic “beer” each evening. I’ll let you decide which training regimen seems to have been the more effective.

And it’s Not Just Presidents: Men in the U.S. who drink alcohol receive about 7% higher wages than do abstainers, according to data from the national Household Survey on Drug Abuse (United States Department of Health and Human Services). Women who drink receive about three and one-half percent higher wages than do abstainers.

Fall in the Rockies: Not far from the Conclub World Headquarters is the annual Great American Beer Festival. This year it will be held Oct. 11-13 at the Colorado Convention Center in Denver. It is the largest collection of beers at one location anywhere in the world, and last year almost 2,500 brews were sampled. It’s hard to think that George Washington (who liked dark porters) or Benjamin Franklin (who preferred lagers) wouldn’t be proud. And you can bet if they were around today, they’d be heading to Denver in October.

This week’s hangover remedy: Water, water, water! You already know this, but you still forget to drink enough water every time you get hammered and you only remember it the next morning when your body scream, “You idiot! You didn’t drink enough water again, and now we have to suffer through this together.” Especially if you are drinking beer, which will dehydrate more than spirits, and especially if you are drinking out in the sun while golfing or barbequing, dehydration is likely to be your #1 enemy. Drink aqua before, during, and after your partying, and of course right before bed and right when you wake up.

Obligatory Disclaimer: Saturday Night Souse® reminds readers to drink responsibly. If you are going to drink on July 4^th, plan ahead for safe transportation so you don’t drive. And if you do not plan on drinking on July 4^th, then just know that the Founding Fathers are turning over in their graves and wondering whether their sacrifices were even worth it, just so some snotty punk could come along two centuries later thinking he’s too frickin’ good to drink a damn Budweiser! – or else you’re the designated driver, in which case, thanks for your service.