Constitution Club

Dedicated to the Demon Rum and all her acquaintances 

Thanksgiving Edition!

“I have strong doubts that the first Thanksgiving even remotely resembled the ‘history’ I was told in second grade. But considering that (when it comes to holidays) mainstream America’s traditions tend to be over-eating, shopping, or getting drunk, I suppose it’s a miracle that the concept of giving thanks even surfaces at all.”  -  Ellen Orleans

Morning - Between 8 and 9:30 a.m.  The Drink - Mimosa   The Rationale - Solid morning post coffee and paper drink.  Good toaster with relatives in town.    This excellent drink consists of three parts champagne and two parts chilled orange juice.   

 One is good but if you eat a nice breakfast, two will really help shake the cobwebs off.

Now here is where the schedule gets tricky; if you live on the East coast, you might need to have a filler drink.  I suggest coffee with a nip of E & J’s brandy.  But if you are done with morning drinks, its best to have a spot of egg nog with some bourbon.  Everything else can be scheduled around the games.  All times are MST.

10:30 a.m.  Green Bay at Detroit   Finally, a Detroit Lions game that will be good.    The Drink - Your first and second beers (a nice lager is recommended)   The Rationale-its football. . . figure it out

Noonish/into the second half    The Drink - A Tom Collins  The Rationale - a nice tweener as you converse and graze at the snack table.  Combine 1 oz. lemon juice, 2 ozs Gin, 3 ozs. Club Soda, a cherry, an orange slice, and a tsp. superfine sugar.  Combine the sugar, lemon juice and gin in a shaker with ice.  Finish with the club soda and garnish with the orange and cherry.  Since a collins glass is stupid looking, just serve in a nice red plastic cup.  They’re all stacked on the snack table anyway.

2:15 p.m.  New York Jets at Dallas   The Drink - Beer  (go ahead and dig into the Sam Adams holiday brew)  The Rationale - you need to be drunk to believe this game will be worth a shit.

Halftime into the second half of this game -  Make sure this is when dinner is ready.  Don’t worry about dinner bleeding into the second half.  The game will be over anyway.  The drink - A nice Chardonay or Riesling with the meal  The Rationale - these two wines go great with turkey.  Sometimes a red can be too overpowering but if you only have a red, chalk it up to inexperience. 

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
- Erma Bombeck

Following dinner but before the third game   The Drink - One more beer.  This time, go for the Guinness in the garage refrigerator.  If you have no Guinness, any ale will do.  The Rationale - you need something to help dinner settle.  Why not a heavy ale to keep you full.

6:15  The Colts at the Falcons.  Somehow I thought the Chiefs were supposed to be playing but whatever.   In any event, the ladies will be wanting to have pie at this time.  Just go with it.    The drink - perhaps a nice Pinon Gris or Port with your pumpkin pie?  The Rationale - Those wines taste better with pie.  I suggest drinking the wine from one of those red plastic cups on the now-defunct snack table.

Second half of the Indy game   The nightcap - An Irish coffee  The Rationale - Irish coffee is a great way to finish a day of gluttonous eating and drinking.  Mix 1.5 oz of Irish whiskey with coffee and 1 tsp. of brown sugar.  Float some heavy cream on the top but don’t mix.  Enjoy the rest of the game.

Obligatory Disclaimer: Saturday Night Souse® and Conclub do not mean to imply that Thanksgiving is a day where you sit on your ass and drink like a fish while the ladies do all the work.  But even if you were to actually attempt to pull your weight on this day you would only get in the way.  So sit down, belly up, and enjoy the company and the games.  And ignore the ladies that keep bitching that you don’t do anything. 

And from our families to yours, Happy Thanksgiving!