Saturday Night Souse

Dedicated to the Demon Rum and all her acquaintances

I drink, therefore I am

The St. Patricks Day Edition

(This will be best if you read in a good Irish accent) 

Any St. Patrick’s Day celebration just wouldn’t be complete without raising your glass and making a toast to good health and good friends. The question is, what should you put in the glass?

Let Conclub make a few suggestions:

Though it is made with Irish brews, the Black and Tan is not very Irish.  But what the hell, who is going to turn down a good mixture of ale and stout?

• The ale goes in first; fill the glass just slightly less than half full with your favorite chilled Irish ale.

• Float the stout on top of the ale, rather than mixing the two layers. To do this, place a spoon over the glass, convex side up, and slowly pour the stout over the back of the spoon so it drizzles into the glass as gently as possible. Allow the stout to settle, and then make a toast and drink up!

Now my mother, being the sweet daughter of an Irish orphan, would prefer the simple.  Jameson Whiskey is a brand that has been around for some time.  Sure, there are better, but on each bottle you will find the family motto and guiding philosophy, ‘Sine Metu,’ meaning, “without fear.”  And with a motto like that, the morning is not such a scary time, so drink up!

Mom likes to mix the whiskey and the water.  I say on the 17th, the water is for girls!  (And yet she still drinks the shit on the 18th, 19th and beyond.  Perhaps I should take her advice.)

From the 86 Rules of Boozing (Modern Drunkard)

24. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence.

25. It is only permissible to shout ‘woo-hoo!’ if you are doing a shot with four or more people.

Sláinte!!!!!

Pronounced slawn-cha, this really just means “cheers.”  But St. Patty’s Day wouldn’t be the same without a good toast.  So here are a few good phrases to remember:

May God bring good health to your enemies enemies

An old Irish recipe for longevity:
Leave the table hungry.
Leave the bed sleepy.
Leave the bar thirsty. 

As you slide down the banisters of life may the splinters never point the wrong way. 

And lets not forget that on St. Patrick’s Day, which falls during the Christian season of Lent, Irish families would traditionally attend church in the morning and celebrate in the afternoon. Lenten prohibitions against the consumption of meat were waived and people would dance, drink, and feast—on the traditional meal of Irish bacon and cabbage.  Here’s to the lifting of prohibitions and inhibitions!! 

Obligatory Disclaimer: Conclub and Saturday Night Souse ® do not wish to imply that all Irish are drunks.  That would be discrimminatory and profiling an entire people would be wrong.  Of course there were some Irish people that didn’t drink too much.  Andre, for example, doesn’t get falling down drunk every night and he’s Irish.  But just who is to say that having a beer or 12 is such a bad thing?  Were you charged ungodly rents by absentee landlords and made to build an entire network of railroads?  Have you actually had to attend a fricking parade on a cold March morning after a heavy night of drinking?  Then shut yer pie hole and leave ‘em alone!