The Constitution Club

OK here goes. Odd numbered years are a bit tough since there’s not a whole heck of a lot going on election wise.

1. After a very rough start the economy will begin to recover midway through 2009. Although no one will be able to explain why everyone will attempt to take credit. Obama will garner most of the credit and conservatives will gnash what is left of their gnashed teeth in anger.

2. 6 teams will finish the NCAA football regular season undefeated and 4 of them will have nothing to show for it. The NCAA will finally cave in and develop a playoff system wherein Texas, Oklahoma, Florida and USC play every year in a two round playoff to determine the national champion.

3. Illinois governor Blogoyocihinskiwicz will be convicted of attempting to sell Obama’s vacated senatorial seat and be sent to prison only to pardon himself after everyone realizes that they forgot to throw him out of office. Massive amounts of money will mysteriously appear in various offshore accounts.

4. “Guns N’ Roses” will record another album, release it and then pull it off the shelves when they notice that no one cares.

5. Despite being awarded an astronomical amount of money from taxpayers GM and Chrysler will still have massive layoffs.

6. After electing a pro wrestler for governor and a comedian for senate Minnesota will follow up by electing a transvestite midget porn star for attorney general.

7. Scientists will make an amazing breakthrough in cancer research.

8. India and Pakistan will go to war. The rest of the world will get smart and stay out of it. It will be damn near impossible to get any sort of tech support help over the phone temporarily. Shortly thereafter unemployment in the US will go down nearly 1% and Americans will rejoice at being able to understand what the hell tech support operators are actually saying.

9. Gas will go up to just over $2.00 a gallon.

10. OJ will still be in prison.

11. Caroline Kennedy will be appointed to replace Hillary in the senate. Sure she’s completely inexperienced but that didn’t stop Hillary from getting elected.

12. Despite the state of this state the people of the fine state of New Jersey will re-elect Jim Corzine.