I am just your humble messenger

I just read the papers, please don’t blame me as I am just your humble messenger.

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.   — Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Somehow that quote seems fitting these days.

Hey everyone Jeremiah Wright acknowledged that he offended people.“Had the reverend not retired and had he not acknowledged that what he had said had deeply offended people and were inappropriate and mischaracterized what I believe is the greatness of this country, for all its flaws, then I wouldn’t have felt comfortable staying there at the church,” Obama said. OOPS no he didn’t I guess. Obama spokesman Bill Burton said the senator’s remarks did not imply that Wright has expressed misgivings about his statements. “Sen. Obama was clearly saying that were Rev. Wright not retiring, he would need to be assured that the reverend understood why what he had said had deeply offended people and mischaracterized the greatness of this country,” Burton said. Burton you need to splain to this hillbilly how the senator’s remarks did not imply that the reverend did not understand. Oh wait Bill you are right he did not imply it, he just plain said it.

Your messenger guesses Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Uncle Hugo Chavez were too busy: Israel turned down an offer by Jimmy Carter and Kofi Annan to mediate a cease-fire with Hamas. Your messenger swears he did not make this up! Jimmy and Kofi are part of a new superhero diplomatic group. You know kinda of like the X Presidents from Saturday TV Funhouse. They are called The Elders of the Global Village. Man Jessie Jackson is gonna be pissed they did not pick him. He will be really bummed if they get cool superhero unis! Israel’s ambassador to the United Nations, Dan Gillerman was absent of joy-joy for the plan: “Nothing good could come out of this initiative,” he told Yediot. “Most members of the group, especially Desmond Tutu and Jimmy Carter, are people who nurse prejudices and have been shown to be hostile to Israel.” Dude lighten up! You accusing Jimmah Carter of not playing fair? Watch out or they are going to make Jeremiah Wright Jr. one of those “Elders”. Keep in mind how tight he is with the next president.

Can anybody splain this to your messenger?: “I almost wish Jerry Falwell were alive to see this. Almost,” Penn shouted to the crowd. After dropping some names of conservatives who are still with us – “Bill O’Reilly, who is too stupid to talk about,” and “Sean Hannity, the butt boy of Rupert Murdoch,” Penn said, “We know something more. We know their end is near.” I guess they applauded the “butt boy” comment too. That Penn is such a smoothie; I bet Barry Obama is going to start taking speech lessons from him. VIA LA REVOLUCION, VIVA!

Your messenger found this guy thought provoking: “We resent the rich and end up sometimes resenting their achieved values. Such envy is counterproductive. Or we resent the rich and everything that we associate with these “elitist bastards”.” I like the guy, besides he gives crap to people like: “There are French theorists such as Pierre Bourdieu, and some British Marxist sociologists, who try to find grand philosophical justifications for treating anything that the rich can do or seem to enjoy as nothing but a social marker with no intrinsic value.” Class warfare is like totally stupid for American ‘Progressives’, and socialist presidential candidates too. Ouch – alot of thinkin here ya know!

Portrait of a philosopher as an old prat: “Such as the inherent sanctity of human life. Killing a severely defective infant, he believes, is not the moral equivalent of killing a person. In fact, it may not be immoral at all. On the other hand, he would like to extend certain defining features of human society, such as the principle of equality, to “non-human animals”, to confer on them a kind of citizenship replete with basic rights. It is only a supremacist speciesism, in his view, that denies animals protection from the pain and suffering, and industrialised execution, we inflict on them.” Singer, the author of Animal Liberation, and professor of bioethics at Princeton University’s Centre for Human Values and “one of the world’s most prominent public intellectuals” ooo, ahh, I am so impressed! How much would it cost for him to keep the fruit of his intellect private? He complained that: “Of course it’s annoying and frustrating when people come out with silly things like some of the more naive forms of moral relativism…” No kidding professor asshat! How about we start with equating infanticide to putting too many hogs in a pen? Look I am just saying…

Your messenger can explain this: “Why, in fact, are there so few women in the high echelons of academic math and in the physi­cal sciences?” Every hillbilly knows why women can’t be engineers, its because their whole lives they have been told that six inches is a foot! Don’t get mad at me, I am just the messenger.

Somethings are just well true!: If white people could draft friends the way that the NFL drafts prospects it would go like this: black friends, gay friends, and then all other minorities would be drafted based on need and rarity to the region. Stuff White People Like is really funny folks. Its Barry’s grandmother’s favorite site! She being a typical white person and all, ya know?

“I think what we did in the ’90s was beneficial in a strategic way and led to a period where, at times, there were no attacks being made, no suicide bombings and no deaths,” she noted. What? No bombings or deaths for like 5 minutes? Was this before or after the hot LZ insertion in Bosnia? Your messenger is beginning to believe that truth and reality with Senators Clinton and Obama is fungible! 

Look, don’t blame the messenger; I just read the papers folks!: “Despite the fact that my belly is growing with a new life inside me, I am stable and confident being the man that I am.” “How does it feel to be a pregnant man? Incredible,” he says…”